I'm guessing we went to mass together and then out to a fancy brunch somewhere. And then maybe/hopefully we went to our favorite department store to do some browsing. You and I were always really good at that. I attribute my world-class shopping skills to you, mom, so thanks for that talent! We could spend hours in one department store going from jewelry to clothes and then on to make up and shoes. Then sometimes, just for grins, we'd go through the kitchen department or home goods looking at gadgets. You'd buy a thing or two that struck your fancy along the way and always, always, wanted to buy something for me even though it was your Mother's Day and I was supposed to be the one buying you something special.
But you always said, "There's nothing I really need, honey. Now, what can I get for you?" And gosh if just thinking about that doesn't make me feel guilty about all those times I let you buy me something just because I knew as a mother it made you feel happy and helpful which is a feeling all mothers love, right? (Also because, well, in all honestly, there was always something I wanted but wouldn't spend the money on myself.)
Anyway, now that you're gone - and not a day goes by that I don't remember you with a heart overflowing with love and appreciation - I just can't let a Mother's Day go by without remembering all the good ones we shared. Shopping. Eating. Laughing. Just being together. And I hope. . . really sincerely hope. . .that on that last one I showed you my love. And my appreciation. And my adoration for all that you did to help mold me into the person that I now am. I hope that when your head hit the soft pillow at the end of that last night of your last Mother's Day on this earth you were able to think, "I've done good, God. My kids, they love me, and all is well with the world."
Because I'd sure hate to think that you left this earth without feeling the full effect and power of your love in the family you left behind.
That was my prayer when I went to Mother's Day mass today. And although there won't be any department store shopping or fancy brunch on my agenda, you can bet I'm going to buy some tulips or lilacs or maybe even a gardenia in your memory and remember you with every sweet smell of one of your favorite blooms.
Thanks, Mom. I hope I did you proud. Your forever baby girl.